'Mama, is beating a right thing?' 5-year old asks his mom

Here is what my child taught me…

"Parents are always right"....In my view it is not always true. We may be wrong many a times and we can be corrected by our children too. This blog relates such an incident that happened with me a few days ago.

When our daughter was born, I and my husband promised each other, that come what may we shall never raise our hands on her. No matter how cranky, naughty, or stubborn she gets – we would never hit her.

Though, I had told him that sometimes it is required to raise our hands if the child is out of control – because that’s how children are sometimes, they are naughty and do not listen to their parents. He did not agree with me, and said that we would never let the situation get so bad. Its true children are naughty, and do not listen to us, and at times we raise our hands on them. However, if we try to control our temper and try making them understand with examples, listen to them and try to make them calm - perhaps things would work out better.Our children usually imitate our behaviours, and because of the way we treat our children, they might think that beating or slapping is the best way to win and control anyone who opposes them. I agreed with him that we shall keep our promise our entire life.

One Sunday, we planned to go for a picnic. I was busy cooking their favourite foods and packing the picnic basket. At the same time, our daughter started to cry and throw a tantrum, and I could not understand why? I asked her, and she said she was hungry and wantedsome candy. I tried to make her understand that she should eat something solid or else she’ll again cry out of hunger. On hearing this, she cried at her highest pitch and I lost my control and threatened to slap her if she did not stop.

She immediately turned to me and asked in a soft shivering voice "Mama, is beating a right thing?" I was speechless and did not know how to answer! I picked her up in my arms and hugged her. I calmed her, gave her a candy, and said "No beta, beating is not a good thing and I shall never beat you. You should also never beat anyone!" Happily she went out to play. My husband was watching everything, he came to me and said"I know that you are worried about her teeth decaying and also about her tummy, but if you would have slapped herthen, do you really think that she would have stopped crying or had something solid to eat? May be things would have worsened".

I sighed and said "Today a 5 year old taught me a lesson.”This lesson was - that children learn a lot from our habits. And we have to be calm and handle them tactfully and patiently. Both husband and wife, together with each other's support can raise a child. When my husband loses his temper I calm him, and vice versa...because we live for our children. In today's tech era, when things are moving so fast and so are our children's brains, we need to cope up with the gap that exists between the generations.This can only be done by having a calm and open relationship with our children, not by hitting them or forcing them.

Do you listen to your child when they point out something, or do you dismiss it? Have you ever done something wrong that your child has pointed out? Did it make you think?We must learn to be open to new ways of seeing things. As parents, we must realise that our children learn from us, and be positive role models for them.

Did you find Rohini’s blog on learning from our childrenuseful? How do you discipline your child? Do leave your comments…. We love hearing from you!